


I've Had No Love Like Your Love

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [201]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fluff, Gay Sirius Black, Getting Together, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Sirius thinks this trip is going to be the same as every other part of his miserable life. The last thing he expects is for a poor artist with a smile like the sun to change that.(Titanic AU)
Relationships: Sirius Black/James Potter
Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [201]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/752925
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	I've Had No Love Like Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: “Titanic au? I need angst” 
> 
> COUPLE THINGS: the suicidal thoughts is in keeping with the beginning of the movie, and the homophobia is more referenced than anything else. Also I’ve never seen the movie, so this is based on a synopsis I read and some gifsets I found on tumblr. Scenes are almost certainly out of order because of that. It’s a sort of open ending because I don't like unhappy endings, so you can imagine it ends like the movie or they both make it out :D

Over the course of his admittedly short life, Sirius had come to the conclusion that he was always going to be miserable. His parents didn't like him very much, but that was just the beginning of his issues. Granted, all the other issues stemmed from that, he was sure. 

Like this. He was getting on a bloody boat and he _hated_ boats. He didn't even know how to swim-- and sure, no one was going to be getting into this water because it was freezing, but that was beside the point. Or how about the part where he was being forced on this trip to go and meet his fiancé? A fiancé that he'd never met and had zero interest in. Sirius was of the mind that they should've been introduced, at the very least, before getting engaged, but his parents hadn't agreed. 

He was on a boat that he didn't want to be on, on his way to an engagement he didn't want to be a part of, and part of a life that he didn't want to live. 

They boarded the ship. Time passed. They were having a grand old party. Sirius was standing on the deck in a suit because he was supposed to have attended the party like a good son, but instead of attending, he was looking out on treacherous water. Without really meaning to, he went to the back of the ship and gripped the railing, leaning forward like he was going to pitch over the railing and into the ocean. 

If he climbed on the outside of the railing, it would be so easy for him to lose his grip and fall. He'd be lost in the waves and terrified as his will to live suddenly flared, but he didn't know how to swim so it would be a short fight. No one could prove that he'd done it on purpose. He could just... stop existing, here, on this expensive boat where first class tickets had been a small fortune and third class tickets still cost a hefty sum. He'd be able to leave, and no one would be able to stop him. It wasn't like back home, where there would be an investigation and he'd get a big funeral; his body would be as fake in death as he'd been in life. He wouldn't have to marry some random woman that he cared nothing about, and that seemed preferable to him right now. 

"Nice view," a deep voice commented. 

Sirius jumped in surprise and turned to see who'd snuck up on him. He noticed right away that the man must be on here third class, and he hated himself for it being the first thing he saw. 

But it was so obvious. 

Not at the party, for one. No suit, for another. His clothes weren't _cheap_ , but they certainly weren't expensive. Economical. Sirius had never owned an economical piece of clothing in his entire life; his parents wouldn't have allowed it. 

"Though something tells me that it's not what you were enjoying." 

Befuddled, Sirius glanced out at the ocean. "It looks like shite." 

The man snorted, then started laughing. "Fair enough. I figured it was a better opening than asking if you were planning to jump, though." 

"I wasn't going to jump," Sirius denied automatically. 

"Sure you weren't. That's why you chose this part of the ship to stand at, where no one would catch you." 

"You caught me,” Sirius couldn’t help but point out. It wasn’t a course of conversation he wanted to follow though, so he said, “Anything else to say now that you've ruined my time alone?" 

The man looked at him for a long moment. "Just in case you _had_ been thinking of jumping, I want to tell you that you shouldn't." 

"What?" 

"If I wake up one day and find out that you've jumped, I'm gonna jump to." 

"Are you stupid?" Sirius asked, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could filter them. 

"Generally, yes. But people who are suicidal aren't willing to kill other people too, that I've seen. So if you _had_ been thinking about it, I want you to know that it wouldn't be just you that died." 

Sirius stared at, dumbfounded. That was... "I wasn't going to jump," he muttered, pushing past him and heading back inside. Joining the party wasn't on the top of the list for things he wanted to do, but it was better than this. 

"My name's James," the man called after him, before he got very far. 

Sirius paused and turned to look at him. 

"This is the part where you tell me your name." 

Sirius started walking again. He wasn't going to see this bloke-- James, apparently-- again. Third class was in a completely different section of the ship from first class; he wouldn't have to see him for the rest of the trip. 

* * *

"What do you do for a living?" Sirius asked. 

"I'm an artist," James said, not bothering to ask about the suddenness of the question. It's not like Sirius had built up to it, after all. He had a habit of blurting out whatever he was thinking, no matter how rude it might be-- his parents hated it. 

"Like oil paintings?" 

James laughed. "That would make me far richer than I am. No, sketches mostly. Watercolours sometimes, but never on a ship," he said with a smirk. "And only a few, at that." 

"If that's what you do, how did you afford a ticket?" 

"Lottery," James admitted, with no shame. He was so comfortable with himself. 

Sirius wondered what it would feel like to be that way. "What do you draw?" 

"People. Flowers." James's smile went soft as he looked at Sirius. "Anything I find beautiful," he said, voice low so that no one would overhear. 

Sirius's face flamed. No man had ever complimented him before, and he'd certainly never had the courage to do it to them. 

"Not clothes though," he added casually, but he still kept his voice quiet. "Never did get the hang of those." 

"I'd imagine that makes quite the portfolio," Sirius managed to reply. He cleared his throat. "Did you bring any with you?" 

"I did, though I'm not sure how comfortable you would be with some of them." 

"Would you describe them as racy?" 

"I wouldn't. Some might, by simple virtue of me being a man." 

"Despite what you might think of me, I don't think anything you've drawn would scare me away." 

"I think a great many things about you, but it's been too short a time to know which ones are accurate." 

"Pretty big gamble telling me what you draw, then." Sirius had never told anybody what he liked, after all. Though sometimes, he wondered what it would be like to find someone else like him. What they'd talk about. If they'd kiss, of if they’d just be friends who shared an interest. 

"It wasn't a gamble at all," James said. 

"You say that rather confidently. Everything's a gamble." 

"When you have nothing to lose, I would argue it makes nothing a gamble. Like when I found you on the railing? You remember that?" 

"When you said you'd jump if I did?" 

James nodded. "It wasn't a gamble. I knew you wouldn't jump." 

"Did you?" 

"Yes." 

Sirius hadn't known that for sure. James's confidence boosted his own, though. Maybe it truly hadn't been a gamble. 

* * *

James was... alive. It felt stupid to think-- because of _course_ he was alive, they all were, it's the only reason they'd been able to meet-- but he lived and he was happy about it. He took joy in living, and Sirius wasn't used to that. He said so, and James gave him a strange look. "Like... ever? You've never been happy to just exist?" 

"I don't know." 

"You've at least been happy before, right?" 

Of course he had. He just couldn't think of an example. 

"When was the last time you enjoyed yourself?" James asked, since it didn't look like any answer was forthcoming for his other question. 

"I guess... when Regulus was around." 

"Who's Regulus?" 

"My brother. He got sick when I was- oh, maybe fourteen? Fifteen? Went in hospital and never came back out. My parents always liked him better," Sirius added without really meaning to. Then his mouth twisted. "I know. Poor little rich boy with his rich boy problems. Other people have it worse." 

"I wasn't going to say that. Although it is true that somebody will always have it worse than you. You could be in the middle of getting tortured, and there would still probably be someone who had it worse than you. But that's not the point," James said, shaking himself. 

"What's the point?" 

"That being rich doesn't make you exempt from having problems. You lost your brother, and it sounds like your parents hate you. All being rich means is that you're not worried about having a place to live or something to eat on top of that. I have that problem sometimes, but you know, I don't even think of it as my big problem. You want to hear my big problem?" James asked with a grin, nudging him. 

Sirius chuckled. He never knew how serious James was when he said things like that, but even if it was just a joke, it made him feel better. That was more than anyone else had done for him in a long time. "Sure. What's your big, bad problem?" 

"Sometimes, I draw with the wrong pencil." 

Sirius stared at him for a moment, but James kept his face straight. Sirius started laughing. "Really? How do you have a wrong pencil? Aren't they _all_ for drawing?" 

"Yeah, but there are different types. Some have hard graphite, some have soft." 

"And what does that mean for your poor drawings?" 

"Well, if I use the wrong pencil, sometimes it'll smear everywhere. Or it can make the subject appear much harsher than they are." 

"Truly tragic." 

"Isn't it?" James agreed mildly. 

"You want to know my big rich people problem?" 

"It's not going to be like losing your brother is it?" 

"No, this one is definitely ridiculous." 

James grinned. "Alright, tell me." 

"There's a horribly expensive necklace that I'm supposed to give my fiance when I meet her." 

"How horribly expensive?" 

"I feel like it's more than the boat cost to make," Sirius said flatly. It might be an exaggeration, but it didn't feel like much of one. 

"Sodding hell. That's..." 

"Right?" 

James nodded numbly. 

* * *

"What's with all the automobiles?" James asked, looking out at the rows of them. 

Sirius snorted, assuming it was a joke. Then he noticed that James looked confused. "Oh, er- they belong to the passengers. That one's ours," he said, pointing at one with gleaming black paint. "Pretty much everyone in first class is bringing their automobile with them." He knew, because it had been part of the ever-so-titillating conversation they'd had at lunch one day. "Some are just here for the ride so they can be sold once we reach land again. I think the crew might be transporting a few for the government." 

"Rich people really are living in a different world than me," James said with a chuckle. He grabbed Sirius's hand and they headed down the stairs. As always, James's touch made his heart race. "If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?" 

"My room, since anywhere else would have a high likelihood of housing my parents," Sirius snorted. His parents only went to his room when they were specifically trying to find him. 

"No," James said, rolling his eyes. "I meant like, anywhere out in the world." 

"We're surrounded by water," he reminded him. 

"You're no fun at all. Use your imagination," James said. He let go of Sirius's hand and sat in one of the automobiles at the edge that didn't have doors. He mimed putting a cigar in his mouth and puffed. "Where to, sir?" he asked in a gruff voice meant to imitate a cabbie’s accent. 

Sirius laughed and sat in the backseat. He hummed, thinking it over. Imagination... all he'd ever imagined was getting away; he'd never thought about where he would get away _to_. He leaned forward so his arms were resting on the back bench of the front seats. "To the sky," he said, thinking about the dozens of hours he'd spent looking at clouds and dreaming that he was flying among them, because anything had been better than walking on the dirt. 

James glanced at him, grinning. "What's the point when you already have a star?" he asked, dropping the accent. 

"Because we'd be there together," Sirius said under his breath. 

They were close enough that James heard him. His smile widened tellingly, but he didn't say anything about it. 

* * *

Sirius's parents were busy and would be for several hours, so Sirius didn't think twice about inviting James to his room so he could finally look at his pictures. Maybe it was silly, but Sirius had spent a lot of time thinking about those drawings and what they would look like. It was pretty much as described: pretty people and pretty things. 

The people in his drawings were nude, but it was hardly pornographic. About half of them didn't have a full view of their- ahem, special place because of the way they were posed. Women... and men. There were quite a few of nature and buildings as well, but Sirius couldn't take his eyes off the portraits. 

"Who are all of these people?" 

"Some were models. Others were just people I met at parties and the like." 

"You met people at parties and they volunteered to pose for you?" Sirius asked doubtfully. 

"Well," James smirked, "they were French. Very different, that." 

"I see," Sirius agreed, also smirking. He flipped through a few more. Was it his imagination, or could he see the love these had been done with? He'd never been a great admirer of art. He'd never understood it; it had never spoken to him. It had all seemed lifeless, but anything James did couldn't be confused as such. A person with that much love and light could never make art that didn't reflect it. Even the buildings he drew were love letters to architecture. "Would you ever draw me?" he asked. 

"I don't think it would be the sort of portrait you're wanting." 

"What makes you say that?" 

"As you can see, and if you recall, I told you that I only do nudes." 

"I know." 

James looked over at him, hands frozen in place where he'd poised one drawing up to show Sirius. 

Sirius met his gaze evenly, even as his cheeks pinked. 

James's throat worked. It seemed like he was speechless, and Sirius didn't quite know what to make of that. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he mumbled after several seconds of silence. 

"I didn't say that," James said immediately. "But I don't want you to do something you'd be uncomfortable with." 

"Do I look uncomfortable?" 

"You might once you're naked." He paused. "Have you ever been naked around someone before?" 

"Does the doctor count?" 

James raised his eyebrows. "Not even for sex?" 

"Saying yes now would be lying on two fronts," Sirius said. To help distract himself from the deepening blush across his cheeks, he reached into his pocket. "This is that necklace I told you about." 

James reached out and stabilized the jewel in the center. "It's beautiful." 

"I was thinking... maybe I wear this. If you draw me. It'd be nice to think about it as something other than a symbol of the decay of my personal life." 

James's eyes flitted away from the necklace and back up to Sirius. "You're serious about this." 

He nodded. 

"Alright," James said. 

"Try not to use the wrong pencil on me. I want to look as pretty as all your French blokes." 

"You'd look prettier than them no matter what I did," James said softly. "I'll lock the door, and you can... get comfortable." 

* * *

"There's a party tonight in third class," James said. "You should come with me." 

A party in third class. Sirius didn't even know what that would like, but refusing would make him more like the person his parents wanted him to be and less like _he_ wanted to be. But, "I don't know why you'd want me to come with you." It's not like they'd be able to dance together, and that was the point of a party, wasn't it? 

"You invited me for that stuffy dinner in first class. We might as well see how the other half lives, while we're at it." 

"You're part of that half," Sirius pointed out. "You already know how they live." 

"Then maybe it's something I think you should see. I think you'll have fun there; it's nothing like the dinner in first class was, or how you've described the parties you've been to." 

Sirius worried at his lip for a moment. Then, "What should I wear?" 

"Dress down a bit. More like me," James said. He got to his feet, putting a hand on Sirius's knee and squeezing as he did. The touch was mostly hidden by him moving, and it was fleeting; it still made Sirius's blood run hot. That was silly, wasn't it? James had seen him naked-- had _drawn_ him naked-- and a touch on the knee was getting his blood pumping? They'd held hands; they'd talked as though they had a future together. Comparatively, a touch on he knee was nothing. 

But it wasn’t nothing, and Sirius couldn’t even try to pretend otherwise. 

And now they had a date to go to a party together. He didn't even have to worry about impressing him; all James had wanted was for Sirius to be himself. He still worried a bit for how it would go. 

* * *

He didn't quite know how it had happened. They'd been laughing, and then Sirius had pulled him out of the main room, still laughing. He was pretty sure that he'd meant to ask if that’s what all parties were like for him, but then they'd been sharing the same breath, and there wasn't a damn thing that could've gotten Sirius to step away. 

"We should go somewhere we won't get caught," Sirius managed to say when he got enough space from James's mouth-- not an easy feat. 

"Your room?" 

Sirius grimaced. "My parents have a key." He wasn't sure _he_ had a key, but they definitely did. "They like to make sure I'm not getting up to trouble. Yours?" 

"Third class," James reminded him. "It's not just my room; there's loads of other people there." 

"Bugger. Wait, I've got it. C'mon," Sirius said, and started pulling him in the right direction. He was sure that it was obvious what they'd been doing, but most of the people in third class were still at the party, no other passenger would be down in this area, and there was nothing here that the crew would need. 

"Where are we going?" 

Sirius grinned. "The sky." 

He loved the way that James's eyes lit with realisation without him having to say another word. James cared as much about him as he did about James, right? This was proof. It wasn't idle flirtation and animal attraction; it was something more than that. 

They hurried down to where all the automobiles were, and not a one of them was locked because they were on the water. Sirius picked one that wasn't near the edge, and they tumbled into the backseat. 

"I love you," James whispered against his neck, his hands on Sirius's back under his shirt and hot as a brand. Sirius was his, now. "I love you," he said again, when Sirius got a hand around his prick. His tone was worshipful and awed, like he couldn't believe the universe had let them find each other at the exact right moment. 

Sirius could hardly believe it either, and he wasn't about to turn it away. "I love you too." 

* * *

"Sirius, where are you going?" Orion screamed. He latched a hand around his son's upper arm to try and stop him from getting any further away from the lifeboat. 

"I'm not leaving him!" 

"He's going to die here!" They were yelling because they were angry, but the sound of everyone else panicking and the water and the boats was enough to make them have to speak louder anyways. "If you go after him, you'll die too. Even if you make it out of here alive, you'd be executed wherever you lived!" 

"I'd rather die with him than live another second with you!" Sirius screamed, wrenching his arm out of his father's grip and running towards the lower decks where he knew James was. He didn't know how he was going to get him out of the handcuffs or where they'd try to go after he was free, but he couldn't just leave him there. 

_If you jump, I jump_. James had said that it wasn't gamble back then, but this time it was. Sirius still believed in it, though. He wasn't leaving this boat without James, and if that meant not leaving it at all, then he'd be okay with that. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt driven blog @[imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Feel free to drop by!


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